Rama had finally defeated his great enemy. The great Ravana that had haunted him and Sita along with all of the people who looked up to him for so many years was finally conquered. Rama had killed the great beast in battle. Naturally, everyone would be ecstatic. Well not everyone, Rama himself was not ecstatic because he feared he had violated one of the greatest unwritten rules of battle. When Rama stood over the dead body of Ravana, he had noticed the great seven inch scar running along Ravana's spine. He could not get over the scar in the back of Ravana. This great scar appeared fresh to Rama as examined his opponents dead body. Although being assured the scar in Ravana’s back was old, something about the scar was eating at his conscience. He was glad he had killed Ravana and knew that he had protected himself
and Sita, among others. However, as a god and a mortal he could not accept the
fact that he may have killed an opponent from behind. Unfortunately, there was just no
way for Rama to be able to tell what had happened that day during their battle.
What was he going to do? This thought ate at him for days. The scar was implemented in Rama's head as if it was his own. In his mind he was having a great struggle, he was supposed to be a great leader but he may have killed his fiercest enemy from behind the way a coward would kill his enemy. Rama decided there was only one way to possibly justify his
actions and for himself to get over the fact he might have killed Ravana from
behind. Rama decided to have a great celebration of Ravana's death. His theory here was that everyone would be willing to celebrate Rama's great victory over the feared Ravana. This would, in Rama's own mind, be a way to honor the life of Ravana. It was more or less a way for Rama to ease his mind from the thought of killing Ravana from behind. Although celebrating Ravana’s death might not be the best way to honor him, there was no way to get people to celebrate his life of torturing others. Rama ran this by only people he trusted, such as Vibhishana and Hanuman, and they agreed they could make it happen.
The following week was hectic with planning and preparing
for the big festival to celebrate Ravana. People helped fill the streets in order to
decorate the entire city and prepare for the biggest celebration in years. Rama wanted this great festival to put the one from his return to shame. He wanted this to be a big step above anything they had ever done. They
had everything ready to go and the big day had finally come. Rama, in his new
royal garments, appeared before the entire city and told the great tale of his
battle with Ravana. He tried to focus on Ravana as he made sure to focus on
Ravana’s death instead of Rama’s achievements. Although he did not want people to mourn the loss of Ravana, he did feel as if this was an acknowledgement at least to his life. Rama closed this great speech saying, "Ravana has haunted the lives of the people of this city for years, but with this the death of this great beast may we all enjoy the eternity of peace."
The day went on with people celebrating in the streets, every building, and every home. The festival turned into the biggest celebration in years.
People had already started planning for this to become an annual festival to
celebrate Ravana’s death. Everyone was thoroughly enjoying the celebration, including Sita, who had been
having a great time all day knowing that the great beast that had tormented her for so long would never be able to harm her again. Eventually though, she realized she had not seen
Rama in some time. Worry began to set in as she felt something tragic had happened. She went looking everywhere for him and she began to panic. She gathered up a watch party and went looking for him, she went to
the one place she knew he would be, back in the forest. When she finally found
Rama, he had changed into his old torn,dirty clothes and was alone in the forest. She asked
him why he was not in town enjoying the festival, but he did not answer. They
sat in silence for a while before he said, “No matter where I shot him, he
deserved to be killed, but why do I deserve to rule a city?”
Author's Note: I have been fascinated by the ongoing feud
between Rama and Ravana. Every aspect of this rivalry has been intriguing. I
decided to write more about Rama's fear of killing Ravana from behind, but in the end you will see that is not what is really bothering him. My intention
was that this great fear that Rama showed was a sign of respect. He knew that
it is disrespectful and against the unwritten rules to kill an opponent from
behind. However, at the very end I wanted Rama's answer to Sita to show that he
had let it off his chest with this Mardi Gras like festival he held for him. Not to compare it to Mardi Gras and it's religious meaning, but instead to portray the streets being filled like Bourbon Street in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. Rama had come to terms with the scar in Ravana’s back and was using it to cover
up his real sentiments. Rama knew that no matter how Ravana was killed, Ravana
had deserved to be killed for all the troubles he had caused innocent people
over the years. Someone had to kill him and Rama knew it was meant to be
him. This was a side of Rama’s character that has not really been exposed
to the reader yet and that I want to continue to build on, a side of arrogance
you might say.
The festival for Ravana
Source: Wikipedia
Bibliography:
- Narayan, R. K. (1972) The Ramayana.
- Buck, William (1976). Ramayana: King Rama's Way.
This was a great story depicting Rama's thoughts and feelings after his long battle with Ravana had finally come to an end. I think that Rama's actions in telling the story of the battle and focusing on Ravana's death instead of Rama's own achievements is a display of his own humility. The fact that he questions why killing someone makes him fit for leadership is a good sign that he will be a great leader and will not take his place on the throne for granted.
ReplyDeleteBill, I really like how you showed Rama’s inner conflict and how at first it seemed like he was struggling with the possibility that he shot Ravana in the back when his conflict was actually with himself and his questioning of whether or not he was fit to rule. I thought it was funny how Sita arranged a search party for Rama after Rama just had done the same to find her, except on a much larger scale. Very creative story, I look forward to reading more from you!
ReplyDeleteHi Bill!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I think this story needs a title ;)
I like that you added a celebration for Ravana into this story, justified by Rama's guilt. This gives the reader a chance to understand how Rama thinks and feels, and why.
A few editing points:
First paragraph: "in the back of Ravana"-- I would change that to "on Ravana's back".
In the second paragraph, "one-way" should be two words.
In the third paragraph, "People helped fill the streets"--maybe you meant just filled the streets? Or filled the streets to help decorate?
Fourth paragraph: Comma splice between "every home" and "it turned". I would use a semicolon instead.
I interpreted the ending as Rama having more self-doubt than he wanted to admit, spiraling from the possibility that he could have killed Ravana from behind. Like, it's not what you do, but the way you do it. I see how that thought could occur on a larger scale based on the entire event with Ravana.
Good job making this story your own! It made me think on a psychology level a bit, and I enjoy that :)
Bill,
ReplyDeleteI am going to be honest with you - this story thoroughly confused me, haha. The whole plot I was unsure what exactly they were celebrating and for what reason. And then in the author's note, I became even more confused. I don't see why Rama would have put on the festival as a way to cover up his true feelings. And what are his true feelings? He's unsure he is capable to rule a kingdom? Why would he need to throw a festival to cover that up? Was it to distract his people and please them somehow? Here are some edits you could make:
In the first paragraph, Rama expresses concern that he may have killed Ravana unjustly. While I'm pretty sure that is the main reason he is worried, you don't specifically address that fact. It is only mentioned that he is worried about killing Ravana from behind. Someone unfamiliar with the original story may not know that stabbing someone in the back is considered dishonorable, so try and include that!
"Rama decided there was only one-way..." - hyphen is unnecessary here. It's just "one way".
"...and for himself to get over the fact he may..." - because Rama is already the subject of the sentence, there is no need to use the word "himself". BUT even if you were to include it, it would be "him", not "himself". But I would recommend changing it to "...and to get over the fact that he may...".
"The only obstacle Rama would face was getting the people who cherished him to celebrate Ravana," - is the "him" in this sentence referring to Rama or Ravana? Needs clarification.
"The only obstacle Rama would face was getting the people who cherished him to celebrate Ravana, so he decided to hold a celebration of Ravana's death. The idea was simple for Rama, he would keep the attention on Ravana instead of himself. " These sentences are awkward and kind of confusing. If I am reading it correctly, I would suggest changing it to something like "Rama realized he would have trouble convincing his people to celebrate Ravana's life. Instead, Rama decided he would hold a festival celebrating the death of Ravana and the end of his evil reign."
"Although he did not want people to mourn the loss of Ravana, he did feel as if this was an acknowledgement at least to his life." - I don't understand this sentence. What are you trying to say?
In the author's note: " Rvana’s back" - should be "Ravana's back".
Bill,
ReplyDeleteI’m commenting on this blogpost for the project commenting assignment.
Firstly, I want to point out a few grammatical errors. In the first paragraph, I think the sentence should read “Although he had been assured it was an old scar ON Ravana’s back…” instead of “IN Ravana’s back. In the second paragraph, “The idea was simple for Rama, he would keep the attention on Ravana instead of himself.” I think you need to replace the comma with a semi-colon. Beginning of fourth paragraph, “every building, and every home, it turned into the biggest celebration” – fix this sentence.
I think your idea is very well composed into your story. Killing an enemy from the back is considered a cowardly act and I see why Rama might be upset about it. I’m interested in finding out where you take this story from here. I see Rama trying to persuade himself that it is okay even if he did kill Ravana from the back because he “ had deserved to be killed for all the troubles he had caused innocent people over the years” BUT he must find out if he actually killed him from the back or not.
Hey Bill,
ReplyDeleteYour story was really good! It would be nice if your story had a title. It gives the reader a little bit more information into what the story is about. Why was it such a big deal to Rama that he might have killed Ravana from behind? I really liked the idea you had with this story. I would have liked to hear a bit more of the way Rama felt, since his actions were influenced by the way he felt rather than what he thought. Make sure to look at the wording of your sentences and apply some of them to real world scenarios. A few the sentences were a bit confusing (“scar on his back”, rather than “in the back”). Also, be careful not to be repetitive in your word use (using “focus” in the same sentence, the repetitive use of “she” in the final paragraph). I loved the big question at the end! What a game changer!
Bill,
ReplyDeleteI want to first mention that I am writing this comment as I read. That is why it may appear as if I haven’t read the entire thing yet. Firstly, I like the idea that Rama’s conscience weighs on him after seeing that Ravana may have been struck from behind. I don’t believe the Ramayana did an adequate job of explaining the feelings of various characters. Also, the dichotomy of wanting to settle his inner struggle and have it be acceptable by his populace is fantastic. Where could Rama have possibly gone? This was supposed to be his way of celebrating Ravana. Does this not have effect of drawing extra attention to him? Ah! He ended up fleeing the festival and venturing out into the wilderness – interesting! You are bring up an interesting point: Rama wasn’t necessarily the character many people thought he was. 1) He shot the monkey while in battle and 2) he (may) have killed Ravana unfairly.
Bill, I think you did a good job with this story. I like that you added a title to this story so it makes it easier for the audience. I also was a little bit confused while reading this story, and the author's note was a bit confusing. I thought the idea was unique and original, allowing us to hear the thoughts and feelings of Rama. The idea of a festival to celebrate the killing of Ravana and his death. That is an interesting concept to me. I also thought it was kind of interesting that it may be that Rama killed Ravana unfairly. Overall, I thought it was a good story, although there was a little bit of confusion.
ReplyDeleteHey Bill this story is very interesting. The content seems good to me, with Rama's inner struggle from having possible killed Ravana unfairly. It shows how honorable Rama is, and how much it pains him to have possibly been unfair. You did an awesome job showing the guilt he felt with his actions and behaviors. The way your story was written was a little confusing to me overall. It didn't seem to flow well, possibly due to the use of very short sentences. Things felt very choppy, which made it harder to read. Even your longer sentences had a bit of a choppy feel to them, possibly due to your word choice or maybe small grammatical errors that broke up the writing. I think you should work a little bit on the flow of your sentences to make things read a little better! Overall your topic and ideas are wonderful, but the execution could use a little work. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Bill!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story! I think that you did a great job of capturing Rama's emotions. You also captured his character very well!
So, I always seem to point out grammatical errors when I comment. I don't mean to sound picky or anything, I promise! The first thing I noticed was in the sentence: The great Ravana that had haunted him and Sita along with all of the people who looked up to him for so many years was finally conquered. I think that you should add some commas. I think it is better like this: The great Ravana that has hanted him and Sita, along with all of the people who looked up to him for so many years, was finally conquered. Also, in the part that says "his opponents dead body" it should be his opponent's dead body. The last thing I want to say is this sentence:Everyone was thoroughly enjoying the celebration, including Sita, who had been having a great time all day knowing that the great beast that had tormented her for so long would never be able to harm her again. It sounds kind of awkward, so you might consider changing it to two sentences or revising it.
I really like your story and can't wait to read more!
Hello Bill!
ReplyDeleteFor starters, I really like that you wrote about the ongoing feud between Rama and Ravana. This rivalry has been one of my favorite interests in the book since we first started reading it. The scar on the back of Ravana really did affect Rama in such a way that we cannot fathom—so I really like that you decided to dive into that emotional side of Rama that we don’t see much of. Also, in the speech that Rama gave I like that he talked about Ravana and kept it off of his own achievements because that shows how selfless of a character he is. The way that you ended your story was really awesome because it kept me wanting more! I hope that you start writing where you left off in your next story because that would be an awesome way to make your portfolio flow. Great job!
Hi Bill! I really enjoyed how detailed your story was. I think you did a great job in illustrating Rama's character and overall personality very well. I am really glad that you wrote about this ongoing feud between Ravana and Rama. It is one of my favorite parts throughout the book, and did a good job depicting that. One suggestion I would have is to maybe add more dialogue. I think that it would bring more insight into both characters, but what you have written is exceptional. Just a thought! Great job, and I look forward to reading the rest of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Bill! I thought you did a really great job with this story retelling. Your narrative, especially with Rama's thoughts, really put me inside Rama's head much better than the original story did. You did such a great job merging Rama's fear that he may have killed Ravana from behind as well as his fear of being a deserving leader into perspective and showing how Rama felt about all of it. As I've seen a couple of other people have mentioned, a little more dialogue between Rama and he people around him may be good, but not necessary. I thought your author's note was great also. It gave a lot more insight on what you worked on with the story that added a deeper dimension to it. I didn't see any grammar or punctuation mistakes in the story and the writing was smooth and flowed well. Good job! I look forward to reading more of your portfolio!
ReplyDeleteHi Bill.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you introduced your story. Rama's conscience eating at him was a great idea. Killing an enemy from behind is understandably frowned upon. I liked how you had Rama consider himself a coward if he did indeed kill Ravanna from behind. I thought it was cool that Rama wanted to celebrate Ravanna's death to more or less honor him and ease Rama's conscience. I really liked your closing dialogue from Rama. I liked how you had Rama get his feelings off his chest and decide that what was done needed to occur regardless of Ravanna died.
Great job on this weeks story. You gave great insight into Rama's feelings with killing Ravanna and his inner dialogue. I can tell you spent a great deal of time on your story and it definitely paid off. I did not see any grammatical errors. Good luck with the rest of your semester.
Hey Bill!
ReplyDeleteThis was really cool! It never occurred to me what Rama could have been thinking at this time or how he could have been having an ongoing feud with Ravana not just on the outside, but internally too. You brought a great perspective, showing us how Rama was feeling at this time and how he needed to honor Ravana's death.
I didn't really notice any grammatical errors and I liked how you spaced out your story so good job on that. Aside from all that, it was a lovely read. I can't wait to read some of your other stories!