The gods were faced with the ultimate challenge, defeating Ravana. Ravana was the ultimate challenge because he and his brothers had received powers from the gods that allowed them to threaten all people and gods. On top of that, the people turned to the gods for help, but Ravana had protection from the gods. There were only two types of being that could defeat Ravana: humans and monkeys. Vishnu thought over this agonizing decision but ultimately decided the gods must do what is in the best interest of the people. He himself would become a human, Rama, and the other gods would become great monkeys . Ravana lived up in the hills where he could overlook the city. He felt that he had power over all humans because he knew the gods could not hurt him. However, he had heard of a new great human named Rama that had earned the reputation as the savior of the people. Rumor had spread around town that his mission was to defeat Ravana, but Ravana knew that this was not possible for Rama was simply just another human. Ravana sought out to meet this boy Rama and discovered him on the edge of town away from the people training. When Ravana approached him, Rama informed him he was training to defeat him. Ravana, however, chuckled and informed Rama that a human could not defeat him and he would lose his life if he tried. Rama informed Ravana that he had a secret weapon that he would not be able to defeat and then disappeared out of Ravana's sights. The next week Rama decided it was time to defeat Ravana and free the people from his powers. Rama approached Ravana outside of town in the hills and Ravana said to him, "I hear you have come to defeat me, but you must know I will kill you'. Rama responded, "For I know that I cannot defeat you, I am just one human, but with my army you will be defeated" Ravana then responded, "What army?, For you are just a mere boy with no followers". At that point in time, dozens of monkeys dressed as warriors emerged on to the tops of the surrounding hills, these monkeys were all of the gods who had come down to Earth with Vishnu in order to defeat Ravana. Ravana had a look of sheer agony come over his face as he knew that monkeys were the one species that would defeat him. The monkeys started coming from all directions as Ravana stood no chance against Rama and his forces of monkeys. After the defeat of Ravana, Rama and the monkeys returned to the streets where they were treated as heroes, however, the rumors had started flying that they were all gods. Rama, then gathered all the people and informed them that yes, he was Vishnu, but from now he on he would forever be Rama, as well, the monkeys would from now on be monkeys. They went on to explain that once you choose to come from the heavens and take another form you sacrifice your life as a god and take on the new life you have chosen. Vishnu and the other gods had made the ultimate sacrifice for the people.
Author's Note: I basically decided that I wanted to take the very beginning of the story where Vishnu and the other gods decide to come to Earth in order to battle Ravana and make that into a story of it's own. I picture this being in a village like the ancient city of Pompeii with the great Mt. Vesuvius i the background. Also, if you have seen the movie "Field of Dreams" that is where I got the idea for the gods not being allowed to return to god form but instead being stuck as Rama and the monkeys for eternity.
Bibliography:
- Narayan, R. K. (1972) The Ramayana: A Shortened Modern Prose Version of the Indian Epic.
Monkeys in training for their battle
Hi! This was a great story about the introduction to the Ramayana. I was interested in that part of the story as well, since it wasn't as in depth as I would have liked it to be. Your story works well to fill in the blanks that are missing in the original story, and I like that you gave the characters personalities. Great job!
ReplyDeleteBill, I thought you did a very good job on the story for this week. I love how you just used the very beginning of the story and made it entirely different. It worked very well. Also I thought the ending where the gods were stuck in their human/monkey forms was great because it truly was a huge sacrifice for them but they decided to save the world from Ravana. Good job!
ReplyDeleteBill,
ReplyDeleteoverall, I felt the story left me with questions and wanting more. With such an interesting plot that you created, I think it could have benefited from more detail. But the creative choices you took were nice and put a completely different twist on the story of Rama and Ravana. I liked the way you ended the story because it set up a completely different story that someone else could continue on. When I read the end of it, I thought to myself, "Well if all the gods are on earth, and everyone knows it, then someone is obviously going to try and take over." That could be a completely different story in it of itself!
Taking a look at the format of the story, you usually want to stay away from making the story just one whole paragraph. The physical breaks between paragraphs help give the reader cues, like if an important event is coming up or a shift in scenery is happening. I would have suggested breaking the story into 4 different paragraphs. One detailing the gods and Vishnu's transformation, one setting up Ravana and his reign, one with Ravana and Rama's first interaction, and another with the actual battle. Also, any dialogue you use is good to put into separate lines, also.
I realize this was a creative choice on your part, but I felt as though giving Vishnu the ability to KNOW he was a god even after being reincarnated gave him an arrogant characteristic. Maybe it's just me and the way I read it, but I got the feeling he was very aware of the sacrifice he was making, which takes away from his humility and kindness. Just a thought!
Nice story!
Hey Bill!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I liked your story. I am interested in Ravana and I like that you told a lot of the story from his perspective; it is a nice change from the typical point of view of the good guy! I think you should try working on your opening sentence, however. This is an interesting, powerful situation you’re introducing here! Do your best to make it as exciting as possible and grab your readers’ attention! I do like your title though, on that note. It is very simple, which is nice. It’s almost comical, actually. It seems silly, from my western-perspective. I thought to myself, “Monkeys? What? Why does he have monkeys?” But it also gets straight to the point of who the main characters are in the story. I love your ending! The idea for the “ultimate sacrifice” of the gods just adds so much intensity to the story, and I love the way you threw it in casually at the very end! One final note: I recommend either sticking to one name for Vishnu/Rama, or reminding your readers at some point during the story that Rama is the incarnation of Vishnu. Readers who are not familiar with the story might be confused by the name switching, which would really take away from the enjoyment of the story!
Bill,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the image you provided, as well as the laugh. I found it interesting that the gods could not return to their previous forms and that they were so selfless to make the sacrifice for the good of the people. I also appreciated that you stuck to the general theme of the story while adding a little monkey flare.
I have a couple suggestions for you. The first is to double check your writing for grammar. I found a few errors, but it really wasn’t super distracting from your story. The only time I got a little confused was when there was more than one character in a sentence and also more than one pronoun (I wasn’t sure which character the pronoun was referring to). The other suggestion (if it is possible or works with your story) is to try paragraph transitions. Sometimes, just having spaces within your writing can help the organization of the story and therefore the flow.
Again, I really liked the monkey addition! Good job.
First off, the image you added was pretty clever! I laughed a lot when I saw it. Secondly, I really enjoyed your story. The addition of the monkeys added another element to the story that the Ramayana didn’t have. It was cool how you told this story from Ravana’s perspective because most of the stories I have read seem to be from the protagonists’ points of view. It was a nice twist.
ReplyDeleteAs for sentence structure, I would avoid writing stories in just a single paragraph. I find it that when a piece of writing is broken up into more sections, it is easier to read. Paragraphs are also used to transition into different parts of the story, instead of just being jumbled up into one paragraph. Also make sure to start a new paragraph every time you have dialogue because it can be confusing trying to figure out who’s doing the speaking when it’s all together.
Other than that, great story!